What Not To Do: when posting a singles ad on the internet
This is something I tossed onto Craigslist. Just thought I'd share.
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I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm newly single. Maybe it's because I've done the online dating thing before. But I have to say, you boys who post ads on CL scare me.
I'm cute. I work out about 3-4 times a week. I'm sarcastic. I have a cool job. I'm generous and loving and all that other stuff I'm supposed to be. I even have good dating references (i.e. I'm not that scary ex.). And yet, as a joke, I often say that I'm just going to hang out with my dogs and be single for the rest of my life. And I say that because it seems like all of you are crazy.
After skimming through some of the ads, here are some universal truths I feel I should share with you.
Fact: Women are not meant to weigh 102lbs.
For those of you who complain that you just can't find the right woman, that women are gold-digging whores, take a step back and look at who you're dating. You think women should look like the ones in magazines? I hate to break this to you but women don't look like that without a hair/makeup/wardrobe team and a whole lot of air brushing. Women don't naturally weigh 102lbs. I don't care how often the girls on the O.C. claim to eat burgers & fries. They don't. Super skinny girls (older than 25) eat organic vegetables and tofu and brown rice and work out all the time. So, think about it. If they're working that hard on their appearance, they should be rewarded for it.
Fact: Not all women want to do everything with you.
I've honestly never understood people who are looking for a mirror image of themselves. Wouldn't that be boring? For those of you looking for a partner in crime, someone to rollerblade and play beach volleyball and rock climb and do every other activity you enjoy, maybe think that your potential mate has her own activities. That loving and spending time with someone is key to a good relationship but so is having your own life and activities. That perfect woman could be waiting for you, she just doesn't want to play beach volley ball. Maybe she loves to run and hike and workout at the gym and would be happy to go to the beach and watch you play.
Fact: Attn Artists – It has nothing to do with money.
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about here. You're cute, you're talented, you're educated and could even be nice & funny. But, artists by nature are emotional, self-centered creatures. And that's not an insult. To dedicate your life to art is a beautiful, wonderful concept. But, for women looking for a long-term commitment, someone they can count on, you're not it. You might think you are but, be honest, you & your work come first. How else could you live the life you've chosen for yourself. So those of you who don't fall into the above category, play up your strengths and play down the no-woman-will-date-me-because-I'm-an-artist thing.
Fact: Writing an ad that's two lines doesn’t work.
You can claim to be handsome & wealthy & intelligent. How about backing that up with correct grammar & spelling. If you're only going to write two lines, proof read? Form complete words? Online dating is, well, dating online. There has to be something there. It doesn't have to be a picture. It doesn't have to be an award-winning essay, just give us something to work with to let us know you're not some crazy, scary guy. And, since we're talking about two line ads, any guy who claims in those two lines to give a good massage, we just naturally assume that 1. you don't give a good massage and 2. you're creepy.
Fact: You don't need to tell us you're looking for sex.
Chics know that guys want sex. We're very much aware of that. That's a given. We know. Seriously. So writing about or even alluding to sex in your ad is an immediate turn off to most women. FYI, there’s an entire section dedicated to causal encounters so just fess up to just looking for that and run with it. And, here's a secret: women want sex too and we can get sex anytime we want. It just so happens that often (not always, but often) women want a relationship to go with the sex. And, at least in my experience, women tend to be a bit more, let's say open, with sexual types of things when they're in relationships. Here's another secret: women will avoid a date if they think it's just going be some icky guy trying to paw at them all night. Ew.
****
I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm newly single. Maybe it's because I've done the online dating thing before. But I have to say, you boys who post ads on CL scare me.
I'm cute. I work out about 3-4 times a week. I'm sarcastic. I have a cool job. I'm generous and loving and all that other stuff I'm supposed to be. I even have good dating references (i.e. I'm not that scary ex.). And yet, as a joke, I often say that I'm just going to hang out with my dogs and be single for the rest of my life. And I say that because it seems like all of you are crazy.
After skimming through some of the ads, here are some universal truths I feel I should share with you.
Fact: Women are not meant to weigh 102lbs.
For those of you who complain that you just can't find the right woman, that women are gold-digging whores, take a step back and look at who you're dating. You think women should look like the ones in magazines? I hate to break this to you but women don't look like that without a hair/makeup/wardrobe team and a whole lot of air brushing. Women don't naturally weigh 102lbs. I don't care how often the girls on the O.C. claim to eat burgers & fries. They don't. Super skinny girls (older than 25) eat organic vegetables and tofu and brown rice and work out all the time. So, think about it. If they're working that hard on their appearance, they should be rewarded for it.
Fact: Not all women want to do everything with you.
I've honestly never understood people who are looking for a mirror image of themselves. Wouldn't that be boring? For those of you looking for a partner in crime, someone to rollerblade and play beach volleyball and rock climb and do every other activity you enjoy, maybe think that your potential mate has her own activities. That loving and spending time with someone is key to a good relationship but so is having your own life and activities. That perfect woman could be waiting for you, she just doesn't want to play beach volley ball. Maybe she loves to run and hike and workout at the gym and would be happy to go to the beach and watch you play.
Fact: Attn Artists – It has nothing to do with money.
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about here. You're cute, you're talented, you're educated and could even be nice & funny. But, artists by nature are emotional, self-centered creatures. And that's not an insult. To dedicate your life to art is a beautiful, wonderful concept. But, for women looking for a long-term commitment, someone they can count on, you're not it. You might think you are but, be honest, you & your work come first. How else could you live the life you've chosen for yourself. So those of you who don't fall into the above category, play up your strengths and play down the no-woman-will-date-me-because-I'm-an-artist thing.
Fact: Writing an ad that's two lines doesn’t work.
You can claim to be handsome & wealthy & intelligent. How about backing that up with correct grammar & spelling. If you're only going to write two lines, proof read? Form complete words? Online dating is, well, dating online. There has to be something there. It doesn't have to be a picture. It doesn't have to be an award-winning essay, just give us something to work with to let us know you're not some crazy, scary guy. And, since we're talking about two line ads, any guy who claims in those two lines to give a good massage, we just naturally assume that 1. you don't give a good massage and 2. you're creepy.
Fact: You don't need to tell us you're looking for sex.
Chics know that guys want sex. We're very much aware of that. That's a given. We know. Seriously. So writing about or even alluding to sex in your ad is an immediate turn off to most women. FYI, there’s an entire section dedicated to causal encounters so just fess up to just looking for that and run with it. And, here's a secret: women want sex too and we can get sex anytime we want. It just so happens that often (not always, but often) women want a relationship to go with the sex. And, at least in my experience, women tend to be a bit more, let's say open, with sexual types of things when they're in relationships. Here's another secret: women will avoid a date if they think it's just going be some icky guy trying to paw at them all night. Ew.
posted by jenna! at
9:46 PM
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