An Open Letter to the Woman in the Car Behind Me
Dear Lady,
I see you behind me. Don't worry. I know you're there. Its true, we're sitting at the light, waiting to make left turns. But while you're busy honking at me, I don't think you're noticing the oncoming traffic. Maybe you don't drive on this street very often. But, allow me to inform you that this isn't a busy street. In about 10 seconds, after these four cars have legally exited the intersection, I would be more than happy to turn left and there will be about 3 minutes of green light left for you to complete your left turn as well.
I see you in the lane beside me. Trying to pass me just for the sake of doing so is only going to get you to work .004 seconds faster. Besides, I drive my $12k car better than your $60k car so sadly, no, you can't pass me. Yes, that's right, get behind me again.
I see you work in my building. Congratulations. Its a nice place isn't it? I enjoy it here. Oh, you think you'll pass me by getting into another entry lane. That's nice. Did you not notice the two cars in that lane whereas mine is empty. If you had chosen my lane, you would have gained the .004 seconds you lost while trying to pass me. Oh well.
Ah, I see you're behind me again. I've already done some damage to my car on these walls so no, despite your best tailgating efforts, I'm not going to drive any faster down these spiral ramps.
There you go, cutting across our parking level doing about 55 in another effort to make up that .004 seconds you lost behind me. Please don't hit anyone. This is a busy time for people heading into work.
Have a nice day!
Sincerely,
me
I see you behind me. Don't worry. I know you're there. Its true, we're sitting at the light, waiting to make left turns. But while you're busy honking at me, I don't think you're noticing the oncoming traffic. Maybe you don't drive on this street very often. But, allow me to inform you that this isn't a busy street. In about 10 seconds, after these four cars have legally exited the intersection, I would be more than happy to turn left and there will be about 3 minutes of green light left for you to complete your left turn as well.
I see you in the lane beside me. Trying to pass me just for the sake of doing so is only going to get you to work .004 seconds faster. Besides, I drive my $12k car better than your $60k car so sadly, no, you can't pass me. Yes, that's right, get behind me again.
I see you work in my building. Congratulations. Its a nice place isn't it? I enjoy it here. Oh, you think you'll pass me by getting into another entry lane. That's nice. Did you not notice the two cars in that lane whereas mine is empty. If you had chosen my lane, you would have gained the .004 seconds you lost while trying to pass me. Oh well.
Ah, I see you're behind me again. I've already done some damage to my car on these walls so no, despite your best tailgating efforts, I'm not going to drive any faster down these spiral ramps.
There you go, cutting across our parking level doing about 55 in another effort to make up that .004 seconds you lost behind me. Please don't hit anyone. This is a busy time for people heading into work.
Have a nice day!
Sincerely,
me
posted by jenna! at
9:58 AM
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