Nice Guys Finish Last
It just hit me. Seriously. One of those OMG moments.
So guys, come on over, pull up a chair, and chat awhile.
You know how you're always complaining that if you're nice to a girl, she's not interested? Or, when you're dating someone and she says that you're too nice, like that's a bad thing. Or, she breaks up with you under the pretense of: "You're too nice for me."
I just figured it out.
I can now answer that universal nice guy conundrum of how nice is too nice, or the more common I-should-just-be-an-ass-to-get-chics theory.
Here it is. Read it through, think about it, and let me know what you think.
Girls want to feel special. If they see you being nice & friendly to everyone, then what, may I ask you, makes that specific girl so special. If you go out of your way for everyone, and you go out of your way for her, what differentiates her from everyone else?
That's the issue. That, right there my friend, is the sticking point.
You hear girls who date @sshole guys say: "You don't know how he is when we're alone" or "He's so sweet when its just the two of us." (Totally guilty as charged, btw.) That's just it. His being nice to her is different and that makes her special. He's an ass to everyone else, but to her, he's all roses and chocolate. That's the difference.
Girls want to feel special and pretty and all of that crap. Figure out a way to do that for them. So, nice guys, go out of your way to do something for her. And, no doing something nice doesn't cut it. Do something unexpected, something different, something special.
So guys, come on over, pull up a chair, and chat awhile.
You know how you're always complaining that if you're nice to a girl, she's not interested? Or, when you're dating someone and she says that you're too nice, like that's a bad thing. Or, she breaks up with you under the pretense of: "You're too nice for me."
I just figured it out.
I can now answer that universal nice guy conundrum of how nice is too nice, or the more common I-should-just-be-an-ass-to-get-chics theory.
Here it is. Read it through, think about it, and let me know what you think.
Girls want to feel special. If they see you being nice & friendly to everyone, then what, may I ask you, makes that specific girl so special. If you go out of your way for everyone, and you go out of your way for her, what differentiates her from everyone else?
That's the issue. That, right there my friend, is the sticking point.
You hear girls who date @sshole guys say: "You don't know how he is when we're alone" or "He's so sweet when its just the two of us." (Totally guilty as charged, btw.) That's just it. His being nice to her is different and that makes her special. He's an ass to everyone else, but to her, he's all roses and chocolate. That's the difference.
Girls want to feel special and pretty and all of that crap. Figure out a way to do that for them. So, nice guys, go out of your way to do something for her. And, no doing something nice doesn't cut it. Do something unexpected, something different, something special.
posted by jenna! at
1:57 PM
4 Comments:
I have a slight qualm about your premise -- you're assuming that girls who are dating the assholes are being honest when they say he's nice when they're alone. While I don't doubt that there are guys who are that way, I don't think it's true for all of them.
Ok, I'm not talking about guys who msitreat their women. I'm talking about those meatheads that you wonder: "How on *earth* did a guy get a girl like that? He's such an @ss." 'cause yeah, in private, there are those moments when he is just soooo sweet.
So you're saying that if I'm really nice to everyone I know, and I'm really nice to my girlfriend, then she doesn't feel special? That's ricockulous. I don't agree with this theory of yours at all.
There are two reasons why women like assholes:
1. Much like repeatedly banging your head against a wall only because it feels really good when you stop, women enjoy dating assholes because they really enjoy the post-breakup cathartic bliss.
2. Some women need drama in their life to feel like their use of oxygen on this rock has some meaning. Plus, the drama has a welcome side-effect of giving them something to bitch about to their girlfriends.
Also, I don't believe that assholes are somehow magically not assholes at home. Assholes are assholes - they may be less of an asshole at home or in private, but they're still assholes.
Ok, I'm saying, when you see THAT girl with THAT guy, that's why she's with him. I'm not talking about every girl and every guy. And, yeah, the drama comment is true, but if he were a d!ck all the time, she wouldn't be there.
And seriously, have women broken up with you because you were too nice? IIRC, the answer is no. So, this is to the nice guys who are broken up with because they're nice guys. Treating your girlfriend well is different than just being nice. Just being nice isn't enough to keep a relationship together.
Hmmm, I think I need a Diet Coke; this train of thought might get edited.
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