A Shout-Out to the Short Fat Man

Dear Short Fat Man walking into the gym tonight,

I know you didn't ask for any advice and are not looking for my opinion but I think your mirror at home needs a slight adjustment. I'm glad you have enough self-esteem to walk into a gym filled with hotties in a sleeveless muscle shirt and shorty shorts, but its just wrong. Just so you know, as a rule, if you're under 5'10 and over 200lbs, you shouldn't wear shorty shorts and a sleeveless top. If you can't see your shoes, you shouldn't be modeling fitted workout clothes. As fabulous as those pale legs look in the florescent light, as amazing as you think that sleeveless designer work-out shirt makes you look, seriously, keep it at home and wear the usual baggy tshirt and shorts. Hell, make them out of the dri-weave fabric, that's cool. Just let the clothes be big enough to leave a little to the imagination. Chicks dig that.

Sincerely,
-J