Thank doG for TSA
Fade in Easter Sunday, cute girl with a blue wheeled duffle bag, and one large black tote bad standing in the security line at MSP airport. Sad, yet wearing her bunny ears ('cause Jesus loves the Easter bunny), she puts her coat & UGGS into a bin, her purse into a bin & tosses the tote and the duffle through.
TSA: "WE NEED A BAG CHECK ON 4!"
Cute Guy: "Think its yours or mine?"
Bunny Eared Girl: "Its mine....Its always mine."
TSA: [holding bin with white purse] "This yours?"
BEG: "Unless he happens to carry the same Betsy Johnson handbag, I'd have to say yes."
TSA: [Beginning to walk to the bag check area] "This all you're carrying?"
BEG: [pointing to the parade of bags on the conveyor belt] "No, not at all."
TSA: [Takes bin to the end of the conveyer belt & riffles through purse] "Where are your lotions?"
BEG: "Excuse me?"
TSA: "Your lotions. Shampoos. Your Ziploc bag."
BEG: "Oh, I don't carry any of that when I travel."
TSA: [confused yet glaring]
BEG: "My boyfriend lives here so I just leave a bag o' stuff with him."
TSA: [digging FURIOUSLY through the understated yet stylish handbag...finally the look of triumph on the angry man-lady's face] "What do you call THIS?!"
BEG: "Nail polish."
TSA: "Why isn't in a ZIPLOC?"
BEG: "'cause I didn't know I had it in there."
TSA: "I'll let it go this ONE TIME but next time have it in a Ziploc."
Yes, that's right. I had a bottle of nail polish, forgotten at the bottom of my bag. Because, if there is something to really fear when flying, its not terrorism, stupid loud talkers on cell phones, or even fear itself, but Lippmann Collection nail polish. Those sparkles are something scary.
I get stopped like this every time I travel. And I don't travel with any of the forbidden stuff. I either have my girly crap waiting for me when I arrive, or I'll buy it when I get there.
And the sad thing is, I wouldn't even mind all the torment if I felt any safer flying. But while they're scolding me about nail polish, who knows what could be taken into the airport through an employee entrance or even security.
TSA: "WE NEED A BAG CHECK ON 4!"
Cute Guy: "Think its yours or mine?"
Bunny Eared Girl: "Its mine....Its always mine."
TSA: [holding bin with white purse] "This yours?"
BEG: "Unless he happens to carry the same Betsy Johnson handbag, I'd have to say yes."
TSA: [Beginning to walk to the bag check area] "This all you're carrying?"
BEG: [pointing to the parade of bags on the conveyor belt] "No, not at all."
TSA: [Takes bin to the end of the conveyer belt & riffles through purse] "Where are your lotions?"
BEG: "Excuse me?"
TSA: "Your lotions. Shampoos. Your Ziploc bag."
BEG: "Oh, I don't carry any of that when I travel."
TSA: [confused yet glaring]
BEG: "My boyfriend lives here so I just leave a bag o' stuff with him."
TSA: [digging FURIOUSLY through the understated yet stylish handbag...finally the look of triumph on the angry man-lady's face] "What do you call THIS?!"
BEG: "Nail polish."
TSA: "Why isn't in a ZIPLOC?"
BEG: "'cause I didn't know I had it in there."
TSA: "I'll let it go this ONE TIME but next time have it in a Ziploc."
Yes, that's right. I had a bottle of nail polish, forgotten at the bottom of my bag. Because, if there is something to really fear when flying, its not terrorism, stupid loud talkers on cell phones, or even fear itself, but Lippmann Collection nail polish. Those sparkles are something scary.
I get stopped like this every time I travel. And I don't travel with any of the forbidden stuff. I either have my girly crap waiting for me when I arrive, or I'll buy it when I get there.
And the sad thing is, I wouldn't even mind all the torment if I felt any safer flying. But while they're scolding me about nail polish, who knows what could be taken into the airport through an employee entrance or even security.
Labels: random ramblings, travel
posted by jenna! at
9:56 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home