My head just exploded

Just like every other blogger who read WWD's August 7th issue (Hey my source gets me WWD a few days late, but its free so who am I to complain) talking about Alexander McQueen being in talks with Target to do a Go International collection, my head exploded.

Seriously.

Alexander McQueen + Target = Jenna's head exploding

I would not only mark it in my all important Greyhound Calendar as I did for Paul & Joe and Erin Featherston, chech Target's website daily for the two weeks leading up to the release in hopes of it going live "accidentally" as the lines often do, but I might have already threatened a certain significant other who happens to live in the birthplace of Target that he might be going to every store in the Metro area to score every piece of this collection in my size.

Not that it exists yet, but I've already put that out there.

I have my priorities.

SATC

'cause there aren't enough reviews of this movie yet.

You know, I don't think the right reviews of the movie are out there, so I'll present you with two.

One: Sex & the City = Fashion Porn

Two: Sex & the City is a good chick flick.

The whole if-its-going-to-be-the-length-of-five-episodes-it-should-have-done-more doesn't really fly with me. They basically covered in one movie what an entire season of SATC would have covered. And I thought that was pretty cool. Each of the characters had their own issues and demons to deal with and in the end there was a resolution. And some amazing clothes.

Granted, this is not a guy movie. I would no more take Todd to see this than I would take my father. This just isn't a movie for them and they'd be asleep in the first 15 minutes. Though, there is quite a bit of sex in the move...I mean, it is in the title. So, for any of you guys out there whose girlfriends/wives missed the boat on the girlfriend's day at the movies and they drag you. There's quite of bit of nudity and sex...even a threesome...though each only lasts a few seconds, its very much there. So, there's that.

But, other than that, it was SATC for all the reasons we love and hate the show. The women are thinner and more fashionable than you are. Unless of course you have the time to work out three hours a day and have Patricia Field to dress you. And, they all have fabulous husbands/boyfriends that are richer or funnier or more supportive than anyone on this earth. Then again, none of us date Michael Patrick King. He could write our love lives and that might solve that problem.

Hell, between Patricia Field and Michael Patrick King, I think all of our problems could be solved.

Why Brick & Mortar isn't doing too well

Ok, yes, I understand the economy is in the tank. I understand we're in a recession but not in a recession. Gas prices are sky high and food prices are increasing daily. I get that. But, with four (4) days of unintentional research, I can tell you why brick & mortar stores aren't doing well:

One word: Attitude

Example 1: Sunday, I found the cutest shirt EVER. EVER. Seriously. This might help solve at least one crisis in the middle east. Turns out, I know the store owner who was selling the aformentioned shirt. (And by know I mean I know who she is and she knows me as someone who is always happy to spend money in her store.)

Me: Do you have this in my size?

Her: I only have what's out there.

She didn't get up from her chair or look herself 'cause usually clients are stupid and can't see what's in front of them. She didn't care that I couldn't find the overpriced shirt and she didn't even try to show me something equally as cute and overpriced. She even knows me & Todd 'cause we always buy the same line (*cough* Hello Kitty *cough*) and didn't even attempt to mention or show us oh, I don't know, the 3 racks of new stuff she had. She just sort of hung out in her chair.

So yeah, I went home did a few searches on the google and ordered the shirt online. Five magical days later I had the shirt.

Example 2: Monday I wandered into J.Crew on my lunch hour and started trying things on.

Me: Hey, I was in here 2 weeks ago and you had these awesome denim capris but I was helping a friend shop for a business trip so I didn't feel I could try them on. Could you help me find them?

Saleslady: Yeah, we don't have them any more. Why don't you try these on and then I'll order you the size from the catalog.

Me: Uhm, those are a completely different fabric, size, style and fit.

At this point I'm still talking but she's looking at me like I'm speaking Japanese...not that Japanese isn't a lovely language, just a language the saleslady doesn't speak. So yeah, I walked out.

Example 3: Tuesday I ran out to the pet store to get Advantage for the kids. Not only was it almost twice the price as buying it online, which I was willing to pay to get it immediately, but the line at the register was four deep with no other sales staff in sight (and this isn't a small store) to help and the chick ringing wasn't exactly speedy or even trying to be speedy.

Yeah, walked out, went to the dry cleaner and then ordered it online. Two days later, with free shipping (!), I had the Advantage and tortured the dogs with it.


Example 4: Wednesday I went to Bath & Body Works as they one of the only stores to carry my nail polish. I stood at the wall o' nail polish and they didn't have ONE SINGLE THING I needed. They didn't have the color my mom has worn for YEARS or any of the new stuff from either spring or summer or even the new top coat. So I walked out, came back to work and, all together now....ordered it online. Two weeks later, poof, like magic, I have three polishes, one for mom, two for me and a new topcoat to try out.

Here I am, breaking all the current spending trends by buying stuff I don't necessarily need, but definately want and no one is helping me. And I've worked retail...for years I worked retail. I've worked at Express, Bloomingdale's, Fred Segal, Frette...I've done $9 shirts and $150 jeans and the jeans were $150 15 years ago. So, I'm not very patient with the excuse that people who work retail don't make much...I know that...I had that paycheck for almost 10 years and yet I still helped people because that was my job.


So, when I'm watching or reading the news and all the retailers are complaining that sales are down and woe is me and blah, blah, blah...here's an idea, how about you help the people who are in your stores. Maybe you could start there 'cause until you're nice to the people spending their money on your merchandise, I'm not going too feel too sorry for you.

Quelle Suprise I'm shallow

I'll admit it, I'm shallow. I've always wanted a Kelly bag. But, I'll also admit that I'm not willing to spend thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars for a handbag. So, this just amused me to no end. I mean, its not a real Kelly bag, but Hermes did sanction it so its not like its a knock-off or anything...something I'm personally offended by.

But, until I win the lottery, it'll have to do.

Thanks Daily Candy!

Dear Universe

This ensemble in an American size 10 would be perfect for a wedding I'm in this summer in the UK. Could you please deliver it to my house in the next 4 - 6 weeks?

XOXO
Jenna

An Open Letter to Betsey Johnson

Dear Betsey,

I just want to start this by telling you how much I love you. You're the first designer I understood, the first whose designs I could spot on the streets, in the stores and in magazines without a label or a headline. The pieces I'm lucky enough to own I wear until they fall apart; literally, the material shreds after years of use and love.

I appreciate the strides you've made in the last few years in accessories. My favorite shoes bear your label, I covet your purses and now enjoy your hosiery. And it is that hosiery that brings me to you today.

I willingly spent a small fortune on your latest line of hosiery. The black tights with the hearts in the weave of the material and a second pair of plain opaque with a small rhinestone heart on the hip are fabulous. I finished this trifecta with the cutest gray over the knee socks. You know, the ones with the red accents and the rose on the back. However, after just a few minutes, they began to fall down. Tackiness, instead of cuteness raided my Monday. I had to run to Fredericks for a garter belt to save the injustice to my outfit. Thankfully, once this wrong was righted I was able to enjoy the socks, thorns and vines and all.

I write this as a veteran of over the knee, or thigh high socks. I have enjoyed them since the mid 90's and I am pleased that you have allowed me to continue the trend. I know you understand this look, this joie de vivre of socks. I implore you, add more elastic to your over the knee socks. Allow them to stay up. Allow us to enjoy your fashions and walk freely without fear of quick falling socks.

xoxo,

Jenna

This job may be hazardous to your wardrobe.

I dig my job. I don't think its a secret that I'm the paralegal for an investment banking firm. You can probably imagine the level of formality (for L.A.) and the lack of any sort of physical labor. Sure, I've been known to carry a box. But, for the most part, I'm beating on a computer or stacks of vicious paper, bending them to my legal will. I've been known to really expect a lot from my attire at lunch, sitting with Regina, knitting, kicking off my 4 inch heels for a chance at taking in a bit of vitamin E before heading back into the land of florescent light.

So, its rather odd that clothing is just bowing in submission. In all of my years of actual physical work, running around in suits and heels carrying boxes and baskets and racks of clothes, I ran stockings but never lost entire articles of clothing. There I was surrounded by clothes and not once did I ever need to buy anything for use that day other than hosiery. And yet today we had yet another casualty.

I'm sure the fug girls would be happy to hear that my favorite black Donna Karan leggings committed suicide. A huge hole attacked my thigh and raged on for the last hour of my day. And this is just the latest death. We've lost our favorite black dress, two pairs of shoes, a khaki skirt and a shirt. Some have gone quietly. The shoes, like the leggings, died towards the end of the day. Others, like the skirt, did their little dance first thing in the morning, in the middle of Century Park West for a nice man in a Mercedes to let us know about. Then there was the black dress that ripped slowly, my only hint was the draft as I walked to Gelson's for my morning muffin. Needless to say, not only do I keep a sewing kit at work, but I now keep a box of safety pins and have used both on several occasions.

If you can't find me at work, knock on the handicapped stall in the 5th floor ladies room. Odds are good, I'm sitting in the chair in there sewing up something so I can finish my day.

First Juicy and now Kate Spade...Liz Claiborne is taking over the world.

I don't know about you but I'm not spending $200 for Liz Claiborne sweats (not that I would have paid that for Juicy when it was just P & G) nor am I spending $400 for a Liz Claiborne handbag.

I know its for the greater good when these companies are acquired by larger entities. I mean, they get more money for marketing and new store openings and entry into better doors and all that. But, I'm sorry, its just not the same.

Well, at least Kate & Andy are doing it for the family. That's a cause I can get behind. Then again, they're such super creative people, they'll totally do something else later in life. I can't wait to see that.

Who is Erin Fetherston?

Ok, so I like to think that I'm all hip to fashion in my D&G daisy jeans and Miu Miu shoes and Normal Kamali for Everlast shrug (the first collection, not the freaky stuff she's doing right now) and all that today. Then, I'm poking around the fashion blogs seeing who's next up for Go International for Target. In case you forgot, I had a small fit over Libertine. But then I found Erin Fetherston.

OMG, I'm in love. What's Libertine? Skulls and whales? What? No, hearts, always hearts, love me my hearts. Erin Fetherston has a bit of a Alice in Wonderland aesthetic and now for Target prices. I'm screwed. Pretty much anything that looks like doll's clothes are like crack for me. And here we have a whole line of that sort of thing with freakin' HEARTS. Oh, I'm just ordering online...forget trying to source it from the stores.

And for those of you who don't think this will sell well outside of NYC, that the MN kids won't get it? You obviously didn't try to find any of the pieces of Paul & Joe at the Minneapolis stores. Gone. Toast. All bought at full price. Trust me. I had spies there when I missed them here and yes, I tried the website and they were gone, not that I'm still bitter or scarred or anything.

The strong pieces of this collection will sell...the hearts, the coats, the dresses and jumpers. Some of the more cutesy pieces with bows and stuff are a bit more of a gamble as they didn't all sell very well with the previous Go International lines. I don't know about you, but I'm not too sure about formal shorts in winter no matter who's designing.

The key pieces will match the Paul & Joe fervor and just fly. Just stay away from my size.

Drunken Pirate Shopping

Yes, July is the month for sales, as evidenced by my credit cards. (BTW, today is the last day for Neimans in case any of you needed to get out there and spend money on pretty things. I'm not going to Cusp to check out their last day. Really. Nope. Complete self-control. Absolute. Self...lets talk about something else...) July is also the month of Libertine.

I've talked about Go International before. (Vaguely rambling and unintellegible, but talked nonetheless.) Some fashionable genius at Target came up with the brilliant idea of collaborating with different designers ever 2 - 3 months. I adore this line and look forward to each new installment.

Go International is genius because:

1. We get top designers at bottom prices;
2. There is no shopping fatigue because they're constantly rotating stock;
3. You're getting different people and styles into the store; and
4. The markdowns on the preceeding designer are *amazing* (And I'm not just saying that because I got the cutest little Patrick Robinson dress for $5. Nope! Not me. Nothing to see here.)

Sunday launched Libertine. (The clouds parted, angels sang and there were rainbows for all to behold.) Really, any line that features whales and skulls & crossbones is so on my list. And it fits! doG bless you for not just designing for women with the bodies of 13 year old boys. Some of the other designers, and I'm not naming names here, made their designs so upmarket and tiny that really only Victoria Beckham would have fit into them. This was evidenced by the sale racks even I didn't touch. But I digress. Libertine is fantastic. The pieces I've worn so far have gotten rave reviews and I can't see what's next on the delivery schedule.

I Think I Need Help

Ok, this is an actual email, I just sent. No, not only did I send this to a friend of mine, but it was saved in drafts because I couldn't finish it yesterday.

First, that fighting eel tshirt dress is a crap copy of the original 3.1 Philip Lim dress that's living on my wall right now. (The dress I told you that lives at Cusp and I have no earthly reason to own it, but its cute to look at.)

Second, I own the mary janes that charactature is wearing and I would so not wear them with navy blue; but maybe that's just me and my need for any excuse to wear my silver/grey prada heels. (BTW, thank doG they stopped using the skanky models)

Third, I'd like to meet the girl who's going to wear a high heel on a necklace. Seriously.

Ok, I think its reasonable to say that I'm getting WAY too worked up by an email I was sent ( a list I subscribe to BTW) by a fairly fashionable website. I mean, I was annoyed by what I saw on the screen. And, the really sad part is that this is the second time in a week this has happened.

I saved the latest issue of Vogue so that I could bore you dear readers with my amusement at an article written about the Go International line at Target. (They were talking about Proenza Shouler being the next guest design team for the line. In case you were wondering, their segment is due in stores February. I can't wait!) I found it amusing that I live for a line of clothing that is designed for, wait for it, that's right, 18-24 year olds. So, I was saving the article so that I could quote it properly.

Seriously, I need help. Either that or I'm obviously in the wrong profession.