Good Enough

I try to keep this blog sunshine and moonbeams but I can't be adequately thankful for this past year without being completely honest about how this past year ended.

Its been an incredible year filled with a new job, new friends, travel, love and really just about anything a girl could want.*

Christmas held family and friends, even a logical sighting at Xian (the only yummy restaurant open in Beverly Hills on Christmas) and more gift cards and knitting books than I can still wrap my head around.

My birthday began at the Bel Air Hotel where we sat next to the Divine Miss M but ended almost going to the emergency room. I didn't go...I'm lucky to have the only pulmonologist on call during his vacation and he walked me through the medications needed to breathe again....medications I hate and will tell each and every one of you not to take unless its those medications or the hospital. But they work. And I blog now after 36 of the toughest hours I've had all year.

Therefore, I begin 2008 humbled and grateful for all that I have.

To my loyal blog readers, I thank you. I hope your 2008 extraordinary.

XOXO,
Jenna

*I must admit, I am still waiting for that Mini Cooper to appear in my driveway, with keys and a title in my name.

Where did my appetite go?

Ok, seriously, karma has a wicked sense of humor.

I was joking last year when doing research saying "Why can't I have 'anorexia' as a side effect of my meds?" As I understand it, 'anorexia' is just another term of loss of appetite and let me tell you, mine is just gone. Its the weirdest thing. And, for those of you who know me or have looked at even one picture of me on this dear diary, you'd know loss of appetite ain't one of my issues. If anything I relate to Laurie and how she summed up her weight/eating issues. Hell, I even scored You on a Diet from paperback book swap a while ago. (No, I haven't read it, but that isn't the point.) Diets just don't work and I gave them up long ago, trading up to a life filled with yummy food and fun not to mention a bunch of image issues.

So here I am, forcing myself to eat. Its just the weirdest thing. But, I think I know why. [mental note, add image.] I recently switched meds from Advair to Qvar. Let me tell you, for a fashionable asthmatic freak like me, Advair is just a gift from the gods. Seriously. I went from 3 long-acting inhalers to 1. I no longer needed my rescue inhaler and I was able to just enjoy my life, like the commercial tells you. (Although that commercial did not let me ride a bike or go running with my dog 'cause Advair doesn't CURE asthma...just a note to those of you who don't really understand what exercise-induced asthma is....no, no issues here with people thinking I'm lazy or not trying hard enough. Nope, not at all. How did I get on this tangent? Back to my point...) But, my hands shook like a leaf and for someone who has to type and read and hand things to people and likes to take pictures, freaky shaking hands are not a good thing. So, I'm back to trying different things for the asthma. First stop - the long acting 'roids, Qvar.

Last time I was on the 'roids was the mighty brush fires of '05 and I still hold that only threat of death will get me back on prednizone. But, Qvar never did me wrong, so I'm trying this again. I bring up the brush fires 'cause that was the last time I lost my appetite due to meds. And, with all the meds I was on then, I couldn't eat anything processed. And I seem to be back to that again. I mean, in 2005, if I ate anything processed I'd litterally get ill. Now, its just not appetising. I look at my happy $2 Lean Cuisines and then walk over to the mall to have my $10 salad. And that's weird...when do I ever want salad? Yeah, I'm thinking its the 'roids talking.

There are donuts & bagels in the kitchen FREE and I'm sitting here with my $3.50 naked juice. Seriously, wasn't my idea...the 'roids made me do it.